True Life: when I woke up this morning, I had no idea I would start a blog. Well, here I am and this is happening. Hopefully some people read my rants. If not, at least it's a place for me to chronicle what exactly has been going on in my life. 

I guess I  ultimately decided to do this because my life has been so atypical lately. Up until about 6 months ago, I was totally set in life. I had a career job  and was well on my way to moving along to real adulthood (as opposed to faux adulthood which is usually what happens immediately after graduation). Anyway, about 6 months ago my boss informed me that I was not going to be rehired. Nothing strikes down the confidence of a new school psychologist quite like finding out you're not going to be rehired. I think I would have taken this news way harder if I thought for even half a second that I was bad at my job. I know I'm good at my job. I can honestly say that the reasons behind my not getting rehired were far out of my control. That whole story may develop in a completely different post full of rants and self-loathing and will likely come on a particularly dreary day. 

SO I was 26 and suddenly told that I was not going have a job in the fall. I couldn't even begin to anticipate how difficult it would be to find a job. I'm still unemployed today which is partially why I'm starting this nonsense. I'd like to take a shot in the dark and say that anyone who has ever been unemployed, especially undeservedly unemployed, has felt stagnant and like a general waste of space during the unemployment time. It's hard to go from being super productive and active to having way too much free time. That's where I am now. I feel completely stuck. You're reading a blog by someone who went from Honors and AP class in high school to the Honors program at Montclair State University and graduated in three and a half years. I was MAD when I didn't graduate in three years. That's the psycho's blog you're reading right now. I then went to graduate school for school psychology at Fairleigh Dickinson University, landed an internship in the town next to mine, and was lucky enough to get called for a job toward the end of August. I was one of the lucky ones who had a job right out of graduate school. Believe me when I tell you it physically hurt when I wasn't rehired because my brain automatically told me I squandered my blessings or that I didn't work hard enough. Thankfully my colleagues, students, and parents of students were there to tell me that it was a complete travesty that I wasn't rehired and that they were as shocked and appalled as I. A little support and commiseration can go a long way at a time like that.

 But back to stagnation. So I was the annoying person who was driven and successful and was always ready for the next thing. Now it's November, I'm one week away from being 27, and I feel stuck. I feel stuck because I was always in motion and always had things to do and a packed schedule and now that I'm here I don't know what to do with all of this free time. I know that sounds fucking moronic but it's true. I don't know how to have this much free time or how to structure it. It's the craziest thing. I'm sure at this point everyone reading this is saying, "Oh my God. Stop talking and get a job". I've applied for both school psychology jobs and jobs that have absolutely nothing to do with my major or interests in general. I've had three interviews, none of which have worked out. Most schools don't even look at me once they know I wasn't rehired and I'm either under-qualified for other jobs or over-qualified. Really, it's been a friggin' blast. 

So basically this is how my blog is going to happen: I want a place to show my current life. I want to blog about the yoga teacher training I'm doing, the recipes I try, what things come about day to day that are worth talking about, and just basically what it's like in my current life. Life is a journey or ups and downs and ins and outs. I hope to write things that inspire people, things that make people laugh, things that make people hungry, and things that make people feel something. My desire is to document my journey so that both I can look back and see where I was versus where I end up and also to help others who may be struggling with where they are and where they want to be. I welcome discussion, criticism, praise, and even ideas of what you'd like to see. 

Enjoy <3