No, I haven't decided to take a life detour into the occult. Well, not yet anyway. I suppose I do still have other options open besides play time with demons. I want to talk to you today about your demons. But we'll get there...
One of the major benefits of being surrounded by inspiring yogis and yoginis for yoga school is that you're almost guaranteed to hear something that will resonate with you. Sometimes a teacher simply talks about how we're all a little off during seasonal changes or that the colder it gets the longer it takes for our muscles to get warm. In other instances, whatever is said rings in your ears and mind long after the class is over and hours or days after you've rolled up that mat and walked out of the studio. That happened to me this past weekend at yoga school when a teacher began discussing demons.
Demons. We all have them, don't we? My teacher began discussing whether we let our demons define us and I think the truth of it is that we all do. At one point or another, frequently or not, we give our demons the right and the privilege to define who we are. Being honest with myself and you, I know that my unemployment is taking up a huge part in the definition of me right now. I see people complain about waking up early for work and I want to scream, "You have a job, so be thankful!" I feel jealousy rear its ugly head when people get jobs and I get so down on myself for not being where I want to be. This is the longest I've gone without a job since I began working back in my teenage years. I don't know how to exist this way because it's never been part of who I am. I'm the driven one not the one who doesn't work. My big demon right now is my unemployment and figuring out how to stop it from telling me who I am.
So what do I do? I apply for every school psychology and child care job that I can and even look for random jobs in fields I've never tried before. I know that I'm doing my part to get a job and that getting one is just a shaken not stirred cocktail of luck, the universe, and who I may know. I can't sit here and let this demon, or any others I may have, own me.
I have to own the demon.
Yeah. That's right. You own whatever demon(s) you have. Letting any demon control who you are is just a way to accept defeat and blame something out of your control. I'm unemployed right now and so are hundreds of thousands of others across the United States. I may not have full control over my situation right now but I can make strides to control how it impacts me.
I'd be lying if I told you I fully own this demon. I don't. I have plenty of days when I want to scream or cry because I've applied to dozens of openings, had three interviews, and still don't have a job. I have days when I lay around for most of the day because I feel so down on myself that it takes effort to do something simple like laundry. It's days like that when I have to remember that it's my demon that's keeping me down and I have to step outside of my body and pick myself up and get moving.
Always remember that you are only being held back as much as you're letting your demon(s) hold you back. Don't give up. Don't give in.
What are your demons right now? Are you letting them tell you your worth or are you telling them theirs?
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