I've been feeling quite down about something that many of you have probably felt down about. I've been feeling bummed about my body. I know. I know for a fact that some of you who know me want to slap me right now because you like to think I have nothing to complain about. Well, I do. Even if you don't see the things I don't like, I see them and they upset me. They upset me and they make me feel less than pretty or sexy or even worth dating.
It's amazing, isn't it? We so often let our value be defined by inches of our bodies. We let our beauty or sexiness be defined by legs and stomachs and noses. I'm not any different. I would love to tell you that I've been able to rise above all of this in my yogic journey and I can now just exist happily with who I am and how I look. But that's not true. It's not true at all.
I, like many of you, spend time comparing myself to models, celebrities, and random strangers who I deem to have more desirable qualities than I. When these thoughts exist in one's mind, nothing anyone says seems to help. 15 people could tell you that what you see as a problem actually isn't and you'll still want to cry and yell about how it is and nothing you do seems to make it right. It's this catch-22 of frustration because you're frustrated about what you perceive is wrong with you and the people who love you are frustrated because nothing they say is fixing how upset you are. And it just plain sucks, doesn't it?
I don't even have some magical answer for things right now. I wish I did. I could sit here and tell you to accept how you look and that you don't have flaws because you're made perfectly. I could tell you that you shouldn't feel self-conscious in a bathing suit or dread the upcoming summer weather because of having to abandon sweaters and jeans for tank tops and shorts. I could tell you all of these things. But this journey definitely is one of self-acceptance and learning to accept the things we really can't change or work on the things we think we can. Because in all reality, each of us is lovely and it's likely that the parts that we pick apart are exaggerated in our minds. I don't stare at every person I see who may have a pimple but I sure as hell have wondered if people gawk at me when I do.
I've been working so hard to get ready for this trip to Miami I have in a week. I should be excited about a trip to a lovely place and an escape from reality. Instead, the thoughts consuming me are based around how I'll compare to the women there and how my body isn't as good and all I focus on are all the things wrong with me. Pure insanity. It's just really ridiculous that many of us have been so programmed to feel less than and feel like we have to be perfect and that any physical flaw makes us less desirable. It makes me so sad that my days lately have been defined by a few square inches of my body. (I'm not going to start a rant about societal standards or advertising because you all know those are huge parts of how we're programmed).
We all struggle. We all have had moments of judging ourselves by appearance alone rather than the things we have to offer. Try to find comfort in the reality that you're not alone in this. Every body type has suffered with these thoughts and feelings. I know the fact that others can commiserate with you on this doesn't fix how you feel sometimes. But I hope that you know how lovely you are and that you should feel your very best. There is no such thing as perfection, regardless of what we all think is true. Strive for your happiness and do your best not to let anything get it the way.
No comments:
Post a Comment