So, I May Not Be A Real Woman

It has come to my attention via Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and other various social media outlets that I may not actually be a real woman. As you can imagine, this came as quite a shock to me. I have gone through my life believing that I was a girl and have now become a woman. I mean, I have the parts that scientifically allow me to check "female" when asked my sex on applications and doctor's office forms. All signs have always pointed to the fact that I am a woman. However, recent posts have made me question whether this is actually true.

Real women have curves.
Real women have curves and tattoos.
Men don't want to cuddle with a stick.
Only dogs go for bones.
A real woman never lets her man leave the house hungry or horny.

This all seems awfully ridiculous. I'm not completely without curves but I'm far from what most would consider "curvy". I have a couple of tattoos but who the hell cares if a woman does or does not? That's personal preference. And you know what? Some women are naturally thin and happen to have the luck of eating a pint of ice cream every night without gaining weight. Is that completely unfair? Totally. Those girls are lucky and more power to them! But their thinness doesn't take away the fact that they're women. Only dogs go for bones? You sound completely ridiculous now. A-some guys happen to be drawn to thinner women. It's just what they like. Just like some men like curvier women. PERSONAL PREFERENCE. B-you're seriously now calling men dogs if they like thinner women? Why, oh, why must we as a society continue to insult each other and place labels as if we have some type of authority about a topic. Oh, and as far as not letting her man leave the house hungry or horny?  I not live with my boyfriend but even if I did, how does it make me more of a woman to ensure that we both wake up early enough for sex and breakfast before we have to leave for work without being late? Does that somehow mean that I get to shout from the rooftops that I'm a woman? Look, I'm all for some morning love and breakfast with the man I love but some mornings it's just not happening. I guess I'm less of a woman on those days. Some women thrive on drama. It may not be healthy but it's just who some women are. They live for the gossip and the drama and who did what with whom and when. Also, some women can't pick themselves up and come back stronger. What if something absolutely earth-shattering and horrible happened to her and she's just utterly crushed? There are certain things that you may be able to come back from but it takes a long time, a big battle, lots of help, and maybe coming back stronger than ever or maybe just being happy and proud to have made it through a day without crying.

You know what a real woman is? A real woman was either born with the required anatomy or acquired it later in life/wants and hopes to acquire it at some point. That's a real woman. It has NOTHING to do with body type, physical features, tattoos, piercings, what she does, where she works, who she dates, how she handles a situation, what she wears, the frequency of sex with her partner, or any other stupid and irrelevant characteristic that has more to do with who the woman is rather than whether she is a woman at all.

What message are we sending to girls who are growing up and seeing these posts? These girls already struggle with body image issues and are already comparing themselves to celebrities, models, sisters, cousins, random girls and women they pass and definitely don't need to read things that make them further question whether they live up to any standards that they already fear exist. Moreover, most women can admit to a time when they themselves were wondering if they were pretty enough, thin enough, curvy enough, big-bummed enough, big-boobed enough, had nice enough skin, wore too much make up, wore too little make up, dressed well enough, or any other criterion that makes them wonder if they're good enough to deserve someone's love and affection. 

Enough. Seriously, enough. Let's celebrate who we are as women rather than claiming some are more real than others. Let's teach girls to be okay with who they are and to honor themselves. Let's stop defining what makes a woman based on things that really have nothing to do with whether you're a woman or not. Be proud of who you are, even if you see parts of you as flawed. Accept the differences that make each of us unique. Love yourself, always.