Cranky Pants

I apologize for the delay in updating this blog. I had an interview recently for a maternity leave position in a school and I've accepted it! It doesn't begin until April but I'm happy that at least something happened. I almost feel like the universe set things up this way. I don't think I would have done yoga school unless I had this much free time and by the time I start this position, yoga school will be about a month away from completion. I'm hoping that I find some places to teach over the summer and also that I find a full-time position for the fall! Woo! Here's to some positive energy.

In addition to my upcoming position, I also started a separate Instagram account just for my yoga fun. I wanted to create a space for yoga life and all things zen for anyone who might be interested. If you have an Instagram account and feel compelled to follow, my name is jerseyjenyoga. I'd love to have your support :-)

Aside from the above updates, I wanted to briefly chat about the times when we wear our cranky pants. I can almost guarantee that every woman and and a good percentage of men every one of us owns a pair of cranky pants. The amazing and magical thing about cranky pants is that they can suddenly appear on us regardless of what we're wearing. We ladies can go from wearing a lovely summer dress to our ugliest pair of cranky pants just like a dapper man can transition from a classy suit to his crankiest trousers. They're the pants that look terrible and turn us into that person we don't like.

You all know exactly what I'm talking about.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, here is the link to the Urban Dictionary definition(s) for "cranky pants": http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=crankypants

You're not angry. You're not mad. You're not perturbed. You're not agitated. You're cranky. The worst part is that your crankiness usually ends up getting catapulted at the nearest innocent bystander faster than they can even realize you're wearing your cranky pants. It's those times when you have plans to go out and every little thing is bothering you. It's the times when your significant other has done nothing wrong and yet you uncontrollably sass him or her.

The fact is, we all have cranky pants and oftentimes, we don't even know we're wearing them until we've done or said something or acted in some way that was really and truly unnecessary. So what do we do? How do we minimize the impact of these ever powerful pantaloons?

Self-awareness.

It's one of those difficult yet important things that can impact various aspects of our lives. The better self-awareness we have, the more quickly we'll recognize the pants we're wearing and will, with any luck, be able to take the steps needed to change into the appropriate ensemble, sans cranky pants. Self-awareness is one of those lifelong developments that is always growing and transforming as we ourselves grow and transform. How it applies to cranky pants is that once we're aware of the pants we have on, we can take those steps to minimize the impact. Only a small percentage of people in this world go out of their way to hurt those they love. For the rest of us, becoming more self-aware about when our emotions or actions can affect the people closest to us really is an amazing quality to possess. It's something I know that I continue to work on so that I can catch myself and recognize my thoughts or feelings before I displace them onto someone who really doesn't deserve them. It goes a long way in all types of relationships.

Here's a little more information about self-awareness for those of you who may be curious: http://www.pathwaytohappiness.com/self-awareness.htm

So let's all make an effort to keep the cranky pants hung in the back of the closet. I know it's just plain nuts to thing that we'd all get rid of them. Honestly, it's part of being human to wear them sometimes. But the more aware we are of when they're on, the better we can be at knowing how to make a costume change.

I Respect Your Opinion As Long As It's the Same As My Opinion

I'm becoming more and more aware of the number of people who simply like to hear themselves talk. Well, in this technological era I suppose I should say the number of people who like to see themselves type. Everyone has an opinion. They have the RIGHT opinion and anyone who deviates from said opinion is a total and absolute imbecile. You, my friend, are a complete and utter moron for having the gall to actually disagree with someone. How dare you?! Jerk. What pains me the most about all of this is that these people who are so offended by your differing opinions often act like immature opinion columnists when they mock your stance/belief/viewpoint/post/whatever because you're not allowed to say something, but God help the internet if you don't read what they say.

This, my friends, is crap.

I absolutely believe that everyone is entitled to their opinions. If you think that eating non-organic food is going to kill you but someone else thinks that eating McDonald's is fine and dandy, then so be it. You have differing opinions and that's what makes the world go 'round. What I'm finding hard to understand is why people feel the need to become so combative or snarky or passive-aggressive even is something is posted that doesn't necessarily stand true for them. I'm honestly a bit sick of the bashing I see. We're all adults here (by "here" I mean the people I'm connected to via social media. I can't say the same for everyone, I'm sure). Why is it that we can't simply say, "You know. I don't agree with what you're saying here and I believe X but we'll have to simply differ on this topic". I see that type of behavior so rarely that I want to commend every person who actually does to that. Here, please take this medal for being an adult rather than a middle school student.

Everyone is becoming so easily offended and driven by emotions rater than logic or reason. People type the first words that pop up in their minds and just let it flow until they hit the Enter key. They barely leave enough time to check for grammatical errors or whether the overly long paragraph they wrote makes sense. We're becoming a society that defaults to bashing someone or something that doesn't fall in line with what we like or believe or support. The funny thing is that it seems like there are universal things that are okay to bash. If I make a post about how bigger women are beautiful, I bet I would get praise from most of my friends. However, if I make a post talking about how fit women can do some awesome things, I'll get yelled at for "dissing" women who aren't fit. If I make a post praising someone's religious beliefs and how they stood by them even in the face of adversity, I would get likes galore on Facebook. However, if I made a post about how someone stood by his or her atheism even while getting criticized or attacked for it, I would likely get a couple of comments, some of which would wonder why I was praising someone for having a lack of faith.

The point is, we're all different. The beauty of this world is that every single person is completely unique and yet we manage to form relationships with one another. We date one another and form friendships and work relationships and families and we're all interconnected with these people who share different beliefs, ideals, likes, dislikes, body types, palates, styles, ancestry, etc. We make it work because if we were all the same, it would be absolutely boring as hell. Could you imagine what life would be like if everyone had the same body type, liked the same music, drove the same cars, or had the same taste in food? It sounds like a horror movie that I'd actually get nightmares from. I want to know why we have such trouble fostering mutual respect for one another in spite of these differences. I want to know why we find it to be okay to express our disagreement with something and follow that up with facetious or even disrespectful posts showcasing our large vocabularies, sarcasm, and general one-upping proving to ourselves and the offending party why we're better. In fact, some such people mock the "offending party". Nothing proves that you're taking the high road quite so much as mocking the person with whom you disagree.

So, friends, let's get it together. I know that there are some posts that we just can't resist commenting on. I think it's awesome to have opinions on things and want to share those opinions. But let's make an effort to express those opinions in ways that exemplify the best parts of ourselves and brings about respect rather than criticism.

So, I May Not Be A Real Woman

It has come to my attention via Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and other various social media outlets that I may not actually be a real woman. As you can imagine, this came as quite a shock to me. I have gone through my life believing that I was a girl and have now become a woman. I mean, I have the parts that scientifically allow me to check "female" when asked my sex on applications and doctor's office forms. All signs have always pointed to the fact that I am a woman. However, recent posts have made me question whether this is actually true.

Real women have curves.
Real women have curves and tattoos.
Men don't want to cuddle with a stick.
Only dogs go for bones.
A real woman never lets her man leave the house hungry or horny.

This all seems awfully ridiculous. I'm not completely without curves but I'm far from what most would consider "curvy". I have a couple of tattoos but who the hell cares if a woman does or does not? That's personal preference. And you know what? Some women are naturally thin and happen to have the luck of eating a pint of ice cream every night without gaining weight. Is that completely unfair? Totally. Those girls are lucky and more power to them! But their thinness doesn't take away the fact that they're women. Only dogs go for bones? You sound completely ridiculous now. A-some guys happen to be drawn to thinner women. It's just what they like. Just like some men like curvier women. PERSONAL PREFERENCE. B-you're seriously now calling men dogs if they like thinner women? Why, oh, why must we as a society continue to insult each other and place labels as if we have some type of authority about a topic. Oh, and as far as not letting her man leave the house hungry or horny?  I not live with my boyfriend but even if I did, how does it make me more of a woman to ensure that we both wake up early enough for sex and breakfast before we have to leave for work without being late? Does that somehow mean that I get to shout from the rooftops that I'm a woman? Look, I'm all for some morning love and breakfast with the man I love but some mornings it's just not happening. I guess I'm less of a woman on those days. Some women thrive on drama. It may not be healthy but it's just who some women are. They live for the gossip and the drama and who did what with whom and when. Also, some women can't pick themselves up and come back stronger. What if something absolutely earth-shattering and horrible happened to her and she's just utterly crushed? There are certain things that you may be able to come back from but it takes a long time, a big battle, lots of help, and maybe coming back stronger than ever or maybe just being happy and proud to have made it through a day without crying.

You know what a real woman is? A real woman was either born with the required anatomy or acquired it later in life/wants and hopes to acquire it at some point. That's a real woman. It has NOTHING to do with body type, physical features, tattoos, piercings, what she does, where she works, who she dates, how she handles a situation, what she wears, the frequency of sex with her partner, or any other stupid and irrelevant characteristic that has more to do with who the woman is rather than whether she is a woman at all.

What message are we sending to girls who are growing up and seeing these posts? These girls already struggle with body image issues and are already comparing themselves to celebrities, models, sisters, cousins, random girls and women they pass and definitely don't need to read things that make them further question whether they live up to any standards that they already fear exist. Moreover, most women can admit to a time when they themselves were wondering if they were pretty enough, thin enough, curvy enough, big-bummed enough, big-boobed enough, had nice enough skin, wore too much make up, wore too little make up, dressed well enough, or any other criterion that makes them wonder if they're good enough to deserve someone's love and affection. 

Enough. Seriously, enough. Let's celebrate who we are as women rather than claiming some are more real than others. Let's teach girls to be okay with who they are and to honor themselves. Let's stop defining what makes a woman based on things that really have nothing to do with whether you're a woman or not. Be proud of who you are, even if you see parts of you as flawed. Accept the differences that make each of us unique. Love yourself, always.